Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Randomize
