We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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