As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
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