I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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