i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
be right there i have to get my cape
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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