OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
What a dumb baby whore.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
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