Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
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