Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Randomize
