there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Had to use Google translator to be able to tell the cleaning lady not to throw away the condoms we have strategically placed throughout the house.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
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