I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
She's got an ass you could write the declaration of independence on in one line. Takes up three bar stools.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
Some girl dressed in nothing but Wonder Woman underwear and a cape on her ass just started twerking all over us. Remind me why I'd never been to a midnight of Rocky horror before?
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
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