i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Well you know it's going to be an interesting night when the bathroom attendant is doing hail marrys
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
Randomize
