Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
i just got so high i needed a buddy system to the kitchen
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
