Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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