Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
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