i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
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