I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
I NEED TO NOT REMEMBER THIS IN THE MORNING. He is our TEACHER.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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