Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
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