Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
