So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
