What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
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