I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm gunna send you baby bottles of vodka for those nights when you just give up
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize