I only make drug deals in a British accent. It's my way of making sure it doesn't get too sketch.
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize
