can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
Randomize
