i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Randomize
