She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
then he tried to convert me to islam
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
A worker across the alley is wearing your sombrero sans cat barf.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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