just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Nothing like coaching 5 year olds with a bunch of visible bruises from last night's drunk bondage sex.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize