i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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