You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
The struggles of a small town man whore
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Randomize
