i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Randomize
