I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
were you wearing a green and blue thong last night?
yes! wait why?
because i found it in my pocket this morning...
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
