dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
You threw up in a empty pizza box at Pizza Hut and opened the door with your face. So that maybe why it's bruised.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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