Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
do nipples grow back?
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
