I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
