Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
to be fair i didnt know she wanted to sleep with me
WHY THE FUCK ELSE WOULD SHE DRAG A STRAIGT MAN INTO A VICTORIA'S SECRET CHANGEROOM GODDAMMIT
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