I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
He thought I was gay. I had to explain I just really like wearing flannel.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize