I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Randomize
