WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
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