i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
