I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Randomize
