I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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