Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He was drinking hot tub water because i refused to get him a glass of water...
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
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