ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I just found out the guy that lied and blew me off got arrested, his mugshot is online. Life is good.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
Randomize
