So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
