That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
