apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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