I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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