And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
