I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Randomize
