So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
