is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
