that john and kate plus 8 dude has ruined asians for me
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Yes. No, I'm basically a superhero but with drugs. I'm robin hood. I steal from the rich (insurance and drug companies) and give to the poor (everyone I know).
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
Randomize
