i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
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