You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
