who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
