Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
