As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
He said he used to draw on the walls with poop when he was a kid.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
You know I think I am ok with him not moving in yet. He came over, fixed my closet, ate me out, and left. I'm now in sweats drinking coke and rum and watching new girl. This works for me.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
