I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
how drunk are you?
Several
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
