Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Why is your signature on my underwear?
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
Even my vagina gasped.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
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