And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
Randomize
