Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
