Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
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