whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
