I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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